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Monday, October 15, 2012

Going Through The Change


Photo: Change of seasons by Silveryn

I suppose I could be writing about the change of seasons as we all are invigorated by the crisp weather and the changing leaves. Or, I could even be writing about THE CHANGE. You know the change that involves hormones and hot flashes! 

No, I won’t go there, not today.  The change I am talking about is the very profound change that a woman goes through after making the decision to own a firearm, goes through the very important process of deciding which firearm is right for her and training to properly, safely and proficiently learn how to shoot it to defend herself. 

It changes us profoundly. We feel different and we move through our daily lives differently. We in fact are different. How so? We have confidence. With this new sense of confidence we start to look people in the eyes more when we are out and about. We scan the environment with new keen sense of awareness of possible risks and people out of place. We walk through parking lots, restaurants and other public places more prepared and with the confidence that given the worst possible case scenario, we know we are fully prepared to give it all we’ve got to defend ourselves. This not only changes us in the realm of self protection, it also effects every aspect of our lives and relationships.

I believe society breeds high levels of insecurity in women, socially, emotionally and physically. We seem to always be the “weaker one” or the one “not good enough”. The ability to level the playing field, or more appropriately the battle field, is extremely significant for a woman. We feel less like a victim and more like an empowered, fierce force. 


The role of self protector doesn’t come naturally for most women. We are raised to believe we are protected by others. Today, this just isn’t an option for it is not possible in this crazy world, with our crazy schedules to be protected by our men, our police or others all of the time. Women are taking on this role with courage, intelligence and passion.

So we are changed on the outside because we now carry a firearm and are equipped to defend ourselves, but we are also changed on the inside because we carry a new sense of confidence that impacts every area of our lives. 

Has it changed you? 

19 comments:

  1. I went with my husband for the first to the shooting range. He wanted me to know how it felt to shoot a pistol (380 & 9mm). I have shot a rifle several times in the distant past, but never a pistol. He was rather surprised at how well I did. So was I. We will continue to go to the range and I will eventually get a weapon that feels comfortable in my hand. I do plan on getting a CWP. Even though I don't carry a gun I do carry a taser and keep it within reach or in my hand. I do find that I am more cautious these and watch people even more than I have in the past.

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  2. After a recent "messy divorce" at 51 , at which my last memory of my ex husband was his fist in my face, ( first and only time ) I have spent several months coming to the epiphany, that I will protect myself. In every area of my life. It hasnt been difficult, given I am independant to begin with. I decided on purchasing a gun several months ago. I havnt regretted the decision, your blog is dead on, I find myself every day feeling more empowered, equipped and confident. The hobby is addicting. Who would have "thunkit"!!
    ps, train properly,, educate yourselves, and Be a Woman! :)

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  3. I have always been an overconfident cocky little girl, I've been trained in hand to hand combat and am generally hyper vigilant (to the point friends joke I'm paranoid)
    The decision to get a CCW as soon as I turned 21 was easy, I've grown up shooting and teaching girls to shoot. I never guessed how much safer and confident it would make me feel. I feel more prepared to handle scary situations when I'm stuck and that is huge.

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  4. I have always been an overconfident cocky little girl, I've been trained in hand to hand combat and am generally hyper vigilant (to the point friends joke I'm paranoid)
    The decision to get a CCW as soon as I turned 21 was easy, I've grown up shooting and teaching girls to shoot. I never guessed how much safer and confident it would make me feel. I feel more prepared to handle scary situations when I'm stuck and that is huge.

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  5. I just purchased my first gun. It was a huge decision for me. I had always been gun shy before but when we moved to a new state and my husband immediately deployed to a warzone--leaving me alone in a new place, I felt it was time to step up and take some action. I took a local pistol class for women (which was amazing) and did some research. I chose a Walther 1911 22LR since it mimics my husband's 45 but is so much cheaper to shoot. Eventually I plan to get a CC but I'm working up to it. Your site has really encouraged me and I'm getting friends interested as well. Thank you.

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  6. When I met my husband (an avid shooter) a few years ago, I had never handled a gun. He introduced me to the world of shooting by first talking about gun safety and the philosophy of self defense with a firearm. He asked me to read articles and a book by Massad Ayoob (In the Gravest Extreme), which I did. Later he let me handle his unloaded hand guns, then took me to a range and trained me to shoot. Turned out he was a good instructor and I was a good student. Before purchasing my first handgun, I took an NRA pistol training class where I was the star pupil! Within a few months, I had gone from being gun-ignorant to safe gun owner! I got my CCW permit soon after that and have carried most of the time since. I now own 5 of my own guns (2 handguns, 1 rifle and 2 shotguns) and have access to my husband's "arsenal". I have also taken basic and advanced gun training in a second state where we now live. Prior to this, I was always confident and aware, but now I have more to back up that sense. Keep shooting, Ladies!

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  7. This post is perfectly timed for me. I bought my first gun today, a Ruger SR9-c. I did a lot of research, and decided on a compact 9 mm over a .380. More bang for the buck, and cheaper ammo. I have taken over 30 hours of handgun training, and was one of the top shooters in the class. I have taught my children about hand gun safety (they are all older, my youngest is 10).

    How do I feel about owning a gun? Very nervous. I do not want to be put in a position where I need a gun. I do not want to shoot someone. I don't like the idea of needing a gun. I don't feel very good about my purchase, in many ways.

    However, I think crime will go up as the economy goes down. I would not hesitate to protect my family. I hope I never have to use my gun, but I will if I have to.

    I'm wondering if any other women were really nervous about having a gun in the house, and how you got over it.

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  8. Of course they are at first, but remember its a tool for protection for you and your family and nothing more. Respect it and learn it well. I'm a man I to believe in your right to own a gun and I pray you never have to use it, but if you do do it right. Practice,practice.

    If you or any of your friends would like to practice cheaply then please visit my web site at www.easyloaderpress.co to find a new way. It's safer ,easier and much cheaper then live ammo,comes in most revolvers sizes and you can shoot them in your basement. But at close range them can be lethal,so please be careful and practice safety first Become a better shooter. I think you'll like it. Please let me know if you have any questions

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  9. I am nearing 50 years old, and I have been raised that I need someone to "protect" me. And, for most cases, I do. I have a wonderful husband who will never back down when it comes to protecting what he loves. However, he is also the one person who has shown me how to handle a firearm, and because of that, I now enjoy having one with me all the time. I feel more empowered and at least I feel that I have some say about what happens in my life and the lives of my children.
    I enjoy shooting weapons (great stress reliever), and now I am very excited about teaching other women about handling firearms.
    I also truly believe that with the direction that our country is going, we will need to think more about taking care of you and yours. When things really count, no one will be there but you, and you have to be prepared, including protecting and defending yourself.
    This is a great time for women with the power of protection and defending her "den." I love it.

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  10. I'm currently feeling the change up until this year my only gun experience was through where I work when we would go skeet shooting. I met a friend who is an avidly into guns and he started taking me out shooting pistols, I found that I really liked it and it has become a part of my life. I try to go shooting a few times a month and I'm still working on perfecting my skills with grouping and trigger control and I know I'll get there.

    I have recently applied for my CCW, where I live it takes two months just to get to apply for the permit and another 90 days before you can actually get your permit so I'm eagerly anticipating receiving my permit and being able to conceal carry. Even with the thoughts of doing so gives me a sense of security. I find myself in places currently and wishing I had my CCW because I would just feel safer but I also don't want to illegal carry so I don't.

    I was most struck by your remark:

    I believe society breeds high levels of insecurity in women, socially, emotionally and physically. We seem to always be the “weaker one” or the one “not good enough”.

    These are things I've given great thought and had long conversations about for years and for the first in my life feel those things slipping away because having a way to protect myself and becoming more proficient with it does give me a sense of security and negating all the those mentioned things.

    I've been spending time trying to find blogs like this one that are geared towards the female shooter, I have currently no female friends that are into guns or even trying to get into them so I do feel a bit alone in that field.

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  11. I just discovered your website and blog. My son recently asked me if I wanted to go to the shooting range with him. I am excited not only to learn but also to spend some mother son time with him.We finally have found something we can do together. He is 33 I am 53. I am just starting to realize the importance of protecting my home and myself. We have been so relaxed about it, never even locking the doors. That is going to change and eventually I plan on owning a gun. Thanks for your wonderful informative site. Looking forward to your newsletter as well.

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  12. This website has given me so much wonderful information, I always wanted to learn about all kinds of firearms, I had only shot revolvers when I was a cop, retired in the 90's, this site inspired me, I now shoot semi automatic handguns, a rifle, a shotgun, & joined a gun club, I figured I now have time for me, my youngest is 19 years old. Thanks so very much for the knowledge! Oh, & that MARILYN holster rocks...

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  13. The change occurred for me before I ever owned a gun, when I discovered that the only one who would protect me... was me. That brought about martial arts training, but the gun ownership didn't happen for 5 more years, when I realized that empty hands would be no match for a mountain lion. I am trying to raise my daughters to fend for themselves, and if they marry, to marry a man like their daddy - one that will make sure they have the tools and the training to protect themselves when he isn't there. It is a mindset that too many parents lack, and it leaves their daughters uneducated at best, or misinformed and defenseless or dead. Thanks for writing this blog to help correct that.

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  14. I just bought my first gun last November. The world is a scary place, and I want to feel that I can protect myself and my family. Plus, I used to shoot .22's as a kid, and I loved it. I'm training with a female Navy Vet who is an excellent teacher. I'm certified for conceal carry, but I'm not yet comfortable with it. I hope to be soon though.

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  15. For some reason this year I decided to overcome my fear of guns. For years we have had one gun in the house and I couldn't even look at it. A few months ago my husband and I took a gun safety and consealed weapons class and I shot my first 22. My instructor said that I could handle a gun much bigger than a 22. His comment and the positive experience of the class spurred me on to looking to buy my first gun. I spent time at the range trying out several types of guns and settled on my Ruger 9SRc. My husband also bought us a Ruger 22 for practice. I love it because it is shapped so much like my SR9 that it is easy to make the transition when practicing at the range. I too am not comfortable with the thought of carrying my gun, but hope to be soon. Ladies, if I can overcome my fears, trust me, you can too!

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  16. I was raised completely opposite of most women. I was raised to take care of myself. Gun training began at age 7. Seeing the profound changes in the thinking of other women, makes me very happy. Two of my best friends, who thought I was crazy when I started carrying, are taking their concealed carry class this weekend. I'm so proud of them.

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  17. I grew up around long guns, but handguns always scared me. My hubby is 6'5" and his shotguns are custom made to fit his long arms so shooting them is a bit problematic. I'm not a big person, 5'3", 106lb. Self-defense training is not a real option for me at this time, but I wanted some way to protect myself when I am home alone. So...setting fear aside, I took my first class (it was a "ladies only" class) on basic handgun safety this year and totally fell in love with it! In order to continue with training I of course needed my own weapon. Dear husband promptly went out and bought me a Glock 19 and then a 17. Love them both! Date Night has become Date Day at the range! I live in CA so I have no rights to carry outside my home, but believe me, my Glock is always within reach. Our kiddos all grew up being taught to shoot by their Daddy and our daughter, who lives out of state has her CCW. Just a bit of license envy going on here.... :o)

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  18. Due to domestic violence, divorce, and a future ex-spouse who violated an order of protection, I was encouraged to become armed. His second mug shot was horrifying - looked like he tried to go postal at the jail and lost...
    At that point I made the decision to become armed. Being a logical person, you do not buy a new tool before understanding how it works and knowing how to maintain it. Otherwise, you might as well purchase a couple of bricks.
    After lessons on safety, dry firing, and shooting, I purchased my first gun. Yes, it did change me.
    But the confidence from that change did not appear until one of my league shoots this summer. Last two shots 5 or 7 yards at the King of Diamonds - both landed on the King! I would have been happy to hit the paper plate to which it was taped.

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  19. I was never attracted to or interested in guns. Husband had been competitive pistol shooter in college, then long military career where he flew in combat with a pistol. He also collects guns. Fast forward, I am now 62 years old, the crazy person shoots up the theater near Denver, Colorado. My soul was twisting in pain for the innocent victims that day. My brain said, what if husband had been carrying and could have stopped those attacks. Next, my brain came up with, what if I had been carrying? WHAT?! Long story short, I have my own Smith & Wesson M&P compact, took classes, practice, shoot with hubby, joined the Well-Armed Woman, got my carry license, and carry much of the time. I feel empowered with my knowledge that should I need to, I could use my weapon. This is a profound life change that I never saw coming. Husband of 43 years LOVES going to shoot together! Your blog perfectly explained what I have been thinking.

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