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Monday, March 12, 2012


I was not prepared..... Not prepared to meet Ruth today.

The day started like most others; busy and my head flooded with the "To Do's" of the day for The Well Armed Woman. Sipping my coffee and cruising Facebook to see what was happening and who was doing what, I stumbled on a link- something about a retired police detective making the case for concealed carry. Interesting.... so I click the link. 

I was not prepared.... I met Ruth. 

Ruth, a middle-aged woman, living alone in an apartment -  is just like me. I listened to Ruth on the line with 911. I heard all of it. Tears they do now. All of a sudden she was a "sister", she was a "me" and she was a "you". 

We as women are so afraid to really believe the ugliness and brutality of those that DO lurk just outside our doors. We just somehow don't want to acknowledge our vulnerability and the very real violent possibilities.

Today, I had a glimpse of what really is possible. Not only for Ruth, but for me and for you as well my friend.
My head has been filled with thoughts of Ruth, with thoughts of you and with the millions of women who, for whatever reasons, have not considered armed self defense. I realize that not all women will choose to protect themselves with a firearm, but as women, we must face it as an option. Women should explore and educate themselves on owning a firearm for self defense, doing so does not mean she will necessarily make that choice, but it does mean she will make one based on complete information and not fear. She then will make choices and changes in her life in order to fully defend herself, her way. That is the message of Ruth. 

I don't know anything about Ruth, her life or even what she looks like. What I do know is that I will never forget her. I will do all I can to educate, equip and empower women so that there is never another Ruth. 

There is more on this video, a lot of thought provoking comments and information.  At the end, another horrifying situation but with a different ending. But what has resonated deeply in me and will forever profoundly influence my work, is the message of Ruth. 


  1. In Memory of Ruth
    Posted By D.MCD on March 12, 2012
    After reading your article and watching the video I was motivated. I recognize my need for more training. My household is armed. I do not have a CCW as I live in Calif. I read books and articles. I have taken hunter safety and basic firearms training. I practice at a range occasionaly. I feel competent with a firearm yet I feel inadequate to protect myself. I know this because not long ago someone knocked on my front door at 1am. I did not think to grab my gun, mace, or even the telephone. I actually went to the door and asked who it was. I at least knew enough not to open the door and I did call the police afterwards. (I was unharmed) But it goes to show just how important training and practice is! I feel I have the tools and the knowledge but did not use it due to lack of practice. It was not second nature. I feel we need to be ready to defend/protect ourselves BEFORE we feel threatened.
    Even if one does not desire to use a gun in self defense doesn't mean one is unarmed. Ruth armed herself with the telephone and thought to call 911. If Ruth had proper training would she have had more to protect herself? It's not just being prepared but trained on how to use what's available. Practicing enough to remember what to do when that time comes and having the confidence to follow through. Practice enough for it to become a natural response.
    I need to discuss this more often with my family and friends. Share defensive ideas. Practice together and hone our skills. It should be a comfortable topic. I know many of us can't afford formal training but all of us can afford some time with friends, family members, co-workers, etc. So my personal challenge is this;
    To bring up the topic of self protection and find out what others are prepared to do. Share ideas and expand on each others knowledge. PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE! Better to be prepared and never having to use it than to be unprepared when the time comes.
    Thanks so much for your site and sharing all you have. Please keep encouraging us to be educated & equipped. I don't want to be another Ruth. May she rest in peace and somehow know how her story has impacted others to be better prepared.

  2. being prepared
    Posted By MARIE24 on March 19, 2012
    Its incredible how my husband and I have guns he carrys I never do and he always tells me there will be a first time carry carry but im not listening.This is making me think.

  3. Ruth
    Posted By GMAJO on March 21, 2012
    W O W ...

  4. Very chilling story. My heart goes out to the victims of such violent crimes and the family members left behind to deal with the loss. It is up to us instructors everywhere to educate the public and prepare them for any situation. It's the least we can do.

  5. Yes tragic, people need to know the facts. The facts of the real risks, and the facts about self protection of which firearms are a very strong option. As instructors and voices for armed self protection - I agree with you that education and breaking down the barriers to educate people is the larger task. Thanks for sharing!

  6. I wish I could remember where I read this, it is very possible it was on your blog/FB page but a comment was made by a woman that carrying was not comfortable. My husband and I had a follow up conversation about finding just the right holster for me. I am very pleased with the bra holster (I carry a .380) and being of a larger chest it actually provides great concealment and is easy to access. Is it comfortable? Not really, but then neither are bras. It is a fact of our lives and takes some getting used to. Now, it is just apart of my daily life. I hear many women make the "comfort" argument and listening to the video you posted reminds me that this is my life and lives of those I care most.....lack of comfort shouldn't hold back women from protecting themselves bud sadly it does.

  7. where is the actual message??

    1. Here is the link to the actual YouTube video - I hope this helps and is what you are looking for..

  8. I am glad I listened to the 911 call of Ruth. I do have a .38 and am very pro 2nd ammendment. I took the concealed carry class years ago, but never pursued getting the permit. However, this showed me that I am not as prepared as I should be. I know I need more practice. Luckily for me, there is an indoor shooting range/gun shop within 2 miles of my house. A few of my friends already practice there on a regular basis. This is a wake-up call. I am going this week. Thank you so much for all your information and sharing the stories of others. As hard as it is to hear Ruth, it is worth sharing to save lives.

  9. Thank you for answering my query as to who Ruth was. I do have a CCW, but do not carry at present. After hearing what happened to Ruth, this will change. Especially in light of what has happened in this country in the past couple of months. As an older person I am no match for someone intent on harming me or taking what is mine. All ordinary citizens should be able to defend themselves and their families, without fear of retribution. When guns are outlawed only outlaws will have guns.

    My heart goes out to Ruth and her family.

    Please do not allow yourself to become a victim.

  10. Thanks for sharing Ruth's story, and your inspiration. Her screams of terror brought me to tears, My hearts goes out to her family and her friends.

    I have a CCW, I have been carrying since I was awarded a Protection from Abuse order against my ex, about 4 years ago. My daughter who is 15 ( who is also named as a protected party) is anxious to be able to arm herself as well. We both have had our lives threatened by him, so we are always vigilant, and prepared.

    We sometimes talk about different scenarios even with other perpetrators, and right now, she would not be prepared to shoot if faced with a life threatening situation. One thing is to have the fire power, the other is the fortitude to use it when necessary. Are there any books or blogs on the subject?
    Thank You,

    1. I cry every time.. even when I write about her. I can't watch (listen) to the video. Believe me it and she is permanently embedded in my mind. Let me do a little research and ask a few friends for some good reads. Thanks for the question!

  11. Similar story, mine turned out different
    As a single mom working the night shift my mother came by to watch my sons to get let me get some sleep, I was well past exhausted.
    Just as I climbed into bed my mom knocked my door and said some man was walking up the driveway. I yelled back when he gets to the door answer it.
    My mom then screamed he is heading for the gate ( back yard) I grabbed my dog (am staff) and my glock and ran for the back door As this man approached my sliding doors he was met with 85 pounds of teeth and me ready to protect my family. He cleared a 6 ft stockade fence in seconds local pd never caught him.

  12. Even though this kind of thing happens and is tragic I think this particular story is an urban myth. Couldn't find anything to corroborate it. Apologies if I'm wrong.

  13. To anyone who thinks this is an urban legend, there are enough similar 911 calls to know that things like "Ruth" happen.
    Thank you, Carrie, for sharing this. I have my full-sized Sig in my bedside gunsafe, which is unlocked and kept open every night when I get into bed, and the safe is re-locked every morning. I practice concealed carry with a smaller gun at all other times. Well, okay, not when I'm in the shower, but my gun is nearby, and I get out and get it if my dog barks in a way that could indicate a problem.

  14. So sad.

    A fool learns from his mistakes. A wise man learns from the mistakes of others.

  15. I live in Texas, and I totally love this Country, it was founded on principles & Laws. I moved here in May of 2006 , and since moving here crimes have steadily risen, robberies, homicides & home invasions; this I write because, I am married to a wonderful man, but he cannot protect us, so I have to, While he was going to Sam Houston State Univ for his degree { masters}, we searched for firearms and something that we both could use & shoot { have a 9mm, and he a 380} I have a CCP, and carry most of the time { except to & from work~ not allowed}. I believe that all citizens should be able to protect their self,but are not taught to do so, many women are vulnerable & therefor are easy targets, which is why many need to learn self defense & personal protection. We live in America.

  16. It is so sad that there are so many people who are willing and able to commit such horrible crimes against other human beings. With that said, we the people, need to be ready, willing and able to defend ourselves, our families and our homes. We cannot wait for help to get there. It may be too late. I work as a paralegal, I have many law enforcement friends and family members. I have been carrying a weapon for years now. I have a weapon placed in every room in my home in case someone comes in unexpectedly. It is sad that we must live like this but it is our right to protect ourselves. I pity the fool that accidentally pays me a visit. I am one fed up lady.

  17. Thank you so much for this. My husband is a NC Justice Academy Certified instructor for Concealed Carry in NC. I will share this video in our class and on our facebook. This just confirms to me that I myself need to get more training and get the word out to other women in our community to get the training they need.
    (Never forget Ruth)

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  39. Thank you for sharing. WE have the right to defend ourselves.
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    We practice at the local range. I feel much more at ease - and have found that even though it started as personal protection; something I did't think I could do, has become an interest with a passion on all levels.

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  41. very sad for that lady but I had a home invasion on may 30 of this year the intruders shot through my glass door .did I have a gun yes did I use it no .why? there was no time we had just got back from England and I did not get my guns back out they had been put away while I was gone .me and my roommate where held at gun point I was walked through my home several times and pistol whipped we where tied up and I did have the chance to get away but didn't want to leave my friend we servived to tell this story I have since made several changes in my home .and both scum bags are in jail we go to court everytime they come up for a hearing . by the way we hired a roofing company in November of last year to install a new roof they scope out the place and then wait before they hit you we are not the only ones there is a ring of this going on.this is how they knew exactly where in the house we where so my advice would be to check out companies before you hire any one to do work for you.thank you for you're sight


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